Swiffer Showdown

Ding!

It seems I'm getting a little cheaper crunchier as I age grow wiser, resulting in higher propensity to do well by the environment. I've seen these knitted Swiffer covers (sorry, can't bring myself to call them cosies - they're cleaning supplies, people) around for a while, and my time in Nyquilia provided the perfect opportunity to pop these off the queue.

I was bored I'm a total dork In the interest of science, I knitted up two different versions to see which one would perform better. And so my friends, I give you...the Swiffer Showdown!


In this corner, we have.... the Zoom!

Stats
Pattern: Free from kiddo knits
Yarn: Lily Sugar'n'Cream in Playtime
Needle: Addi Turbo size 7, 16"

Knitted from one short side to the other, it's essentially a stepped k2/p4 rib.

Yeah, I'll hug your bottom, baby.

This was used to Swiffer two bedrooms, the dining room, and the fireplace hearth. Results were as follows:

• Picks up dust very well.
• Glides smoothly across the floor. (An important feature when you dance like a geek to your iPod while cleaning. Not that I do that.)
• The relatively flat stitch pattern works well with the Swiffer Vac, allowing it to sit where it should and not interfere with functionality.
• The edges tend to curl a bit, which actually helps it hug the bottom (hehehe, hug the bottom) very nicely.

Euw.

And, on an unrelated note, I apparently need to dust my floors more often.


In the other corner, we have...the Ballband Swiffer Cover!

Stats
Pattern: Free from strange yarns;;skull charms
Yarn: Lily Sugar'n'Cream in Playtime and Yellow
Needle: Addi Turbo size 7, 16"

Knitted from one long side to the other, it's essentially the Mason-Dixon Ballband Dishcloth in Swiffer cover form.

Flippy is as flippy does.

This was used to Swiffer the living room and sitting room. Results were as follows:

• Picks up dust well.
• Is a bit draggy and doesn't glide as smoothly across the floor. (See above notation re: geek dancing.)
• The bulky stitch pattern forced the Swiffer Vac to sit higher than it should, resulting in less effective suckage.
• The edges cave rather than curl, giving them a flippy quality that doesn't hug the bottom (hehehe, hug the bottom) at all. Some tugging was required to get it to cover adequately.
  

Euw. Again.

And, on an unrelated note, I apparently need to dust my floors more often in these rooms, too.

Now you would think the Ballband stitch pattern, with all those little recesses, would be more effective in trapping dust and debris, right? *BUZZ* Wrong! As you can see, dust and debris tends to sits on the raised surfaces instead, bypassing the recesses altogether and giving this version less surface area for cleaning. Which you know, kinda defeats the purpose.

I know what you're thinking. "But weez, what if the tested rooms had varying and unequal levels of shoddy housekeeping dust?"

Silly readers. You think I'd overlook that possibility? In order to fully ascertain which knitted Swiffer cover was truly most effective, expert procrastination another level of testing was required. And so, the Swiffer mop was called in to follow up the test dusting and gauge how much debris was left behind.

The Zoom follow-up mop showed some remaining crapage.

Yuck.

But the Ballband follow-up mop showed a leeeetle bit more. Pay particular attention to the the right side and bottom of the pad, where enough dirt appears to resemble living organisms and scare the crap out of a person. Not saying that it did, you understand, just you know, that it *cough* could.

Yuck again.

Conclusion
Both covers knit up quickly and easily. Both covers also have excellent stashbusting qualities and better-than-expected cleaning capabilities. However, the Zoom outperformed the Ballband in all areas, making it the clear and more effective winner. And prettier. Heee.

Appendix
It has been revealed that one should attempt to shake as much dust and debris off test subjects prior to washing. Should one neglect to do so, and cavalierly throw said test subjects in washer with a full load of other items, said dust and debris will distribute and cling to all said items in said load like a cheap date, requiring a second wash cycle and thereby counteracting the ecofriendly, cost-saving ability of said test subjects and causing said scientist to curse paint off said laundry room.